Listen up, whippersnappers! It's time to embrace your inner octogenarian and show the world that age is just a number (and sometimes, that number is 87). Whether you're prepping for Halloween, a themed bash, or just want to confuse the heck out of your neighbours, our old lady costume ideas will help to unleash your future inner golden girl.
Why Go Granny?
Let's face it, being young is overrated. Who needs smooth skin and working joints when you can rock a blue rinse and yell at kids to get off your lawn? Plus, with an old lady costume, you've got the perfect excuse to carry Werther's in your purse and fall asleep at inappropriate times. It's not rude, it's ‘method acting’.
From playing the sweet grandmother to the sassy senior, our costume ideas can be tailored with ease to suit your personality and style. Plus, with the right accessories, it’s pretty simple to create a look that’s as funny or authentic as desired.
The Crowning Glory: Our Old Lady Costume Wigs
At the heart of any great costume is a great wig, and our collection of old lady wigs is the crème de la crème of faux elderly. Available in all the classic colours, and designed to make you look like you've lived through prohibition, disco, and the rise of TikTok. These little gems are so realistic, you might start getting senior discounts without even asking AND they can be styled like human hair. Add extra curls and crazy volume if realism just isn't your thing.
Old Lady Costume Ideas That'll Make You Say ‘What's That, Dearie?'
Our take on some humorous and charming alternatives without having to break the bank. Hit up your local charity shop or raid your own gran’s closet. She won’t mind, honest.
1. The ‘I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up’ Grandma: Cardigan, floral dress, orthopaedic shoes. Accessorise with a life alert button for extra authenticity.
2. The ‘Bingo Baller’: Go hard with the quirkiness. Eclectic, clashing colours, oversized glasses, lucky troll doll, dauber in hand. Bonus points if you shout ‘BINGO!’ at random intervals.
3. The ‘Glamorous Granny’: Pair a chic vintage dress with pearls and a classy old lady wig to channel a glamorous, high-society grandmother. Joan Collins style makeup is a must.
4. The ‘Gangsta Granny’: Blue rinse wig, gold chains, and a t-shirt that says ‘Straight Outta Retirement.’ Fishnet is strictly optional. Get practicing those hip hop moves (carefully).
5. The 'Crazy Cat Lady': Cat hair is the new black. Wear it proudly on every surface of your clothing. Lean into the stereotype. Litter scooper? Check. Laser pointer? Double check. Add various cat toys, a lint roller, and a bit of (clean) cat litter stuck to the bottom of your fluffy slippers (cat themed of course).
6. The 'Golden Girls': A brilliant option as a theme for your whole squad. Draw inspiration from the sassiest grannys that ever were. We’d bagsy Blanche immediately or channel your inner Dorothy, Rose, or Sophia. Cheesecake and witty comebacks not included.
7. ‘The Polished Pensioner’: And just like that Carrie Bradshaw turns 100 (Season 31 Episode 4). This clash of frailty and fashion is everything, and the perfect excuse to inject some glam for a granny costume glow up.
8. The ‘Queen Eliza-B-eth’: God save the wig! Rock a royal look that's one part monarch, two parts sassy punk pensioner.
Speaking of Royalty... We collaborated with the brilliant Anastasia Kalyna who took the Queen Elizabeth II look to a whole new Rock ‘N’ Royal level in tribute to the monarch.
Tips to Nail That ‘I've Lived Through It All’ Look
1. Accessorise like your life depends on it: We're talking oversized glasses, pearl necklaces, and a purse big enough to hold your entire life savings in coins.
2. Master the makeup: Perfect that ‘I woke up like this... 80 years ago’ look. Pro tip: Draw on some liver spots with smudgy eyeliner for extra realism.
3. Walk the walk: Practice your shuffle, your ‘oof’ when you sit down, and your disapproving head shake. Remember, every step is an opportunity to complain about your hip.
Ready to party like it's 1959? Grab one of our fabulous wigs and transform into the sassy senior citizen you were always meant to be.
Just remember, with great power (and a great wig) comes great responsibility. Use your newfound elderly wisdom wisely, and always carry extra butterscotch sweets. You never know when you'll need to bribe the youngsters.
We’re off for our 4PM dinner and 7PM bedtime. These early bird specials won't eat themselves.
